FANO: A room and a scare - and a reason to celebrate (if you survive!)

IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE a scene from The Shining, a movie that haunts me.

I’ve had the same scary dream at least three or four times a year since I was 8-years old. And now, while I’m trying to relax and clear my head in Italy, I find myself face-to-face with my nightmare.

Only this time, it’s reality.

After an hour in the car and what seems like ages of aimlessly walking up and down different streets, the girls and I finally locate this cozy hotel we had stayed in the previous summer. There, at the front desk sits the creepiest man I have ever seen in real life, smiling, like he’s been waiting for our arrival.

I suggest unless you enjoy a good scare (or you’re vacationing with a 6’6 250 pound linebacker to protect you), make sure you feel comfortable with the receptionist at the Hotel Orfeo BEFORE you give him your passport.

His skin is sunken in and swollen at the same time, loose by his fleshy cheeks and tight around his olive shaped eyes. One eye is lazy and both are bloodshot. His pupils are dilated. Countless veins cover his forearms as though there are clothespins actually pinching his skin and forcing it to be so taut. His sinister grin exposes crooked stained teeth.

“Americane?” he asks with slurred speech.

I shudder.

I watch as my friends struggle to communicate with the man, shocked that they are willingly handing over their passports to a man whose appearance alone has given me goosebumps.

And I’m beginning to realize that had he asked for their driver’s licenses, credit card and social security numbers, and original birth certificates, they would have obliged. Nothing scares these girls.

After we check in, we climb the two flights of stairs to our room. Everything looks different from last year. The once rose-colored walls have darkened to the shade of blood. The stench of the hotel is stale and putrid. It smells of death.

Once we are out of earshot, I let my friends have it, “Um, was anyone else like totally freaked out by that guy?”

The girls giggle and agree that his looks were not only unfortunate but downright frightening. They also comment on how funny it is that we seem to be the only guests staying in the hotel.

Hilarious.

While I have absolutely no problem being the wet blanket of the group and demanding we leave, I was too busy studying the creep and our surroundings to notice my friends toss fifty Euro in his direction. And I get the feeling this guy’s idea of a refund involves a switchblade and some rope.

When I wake up the next morning, alive and in one piece, I do a dance of celebration.

- Ann Curran